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Trust issues are remnants of past toxic relationships

Wed, 12/02/2020 - 9:55am
By Jeanne Phillips, ©United Features Syndicate

DEAR ABBY: Marriage is considered to be imperative in my religion and culture. I’m 29 and still not married. I have commitment and trust issues with guys. I have been in only three relationships my entire life.
Every time things are going well, I tend to self-sabotage and make excuses to push the guy away. I start arguments for no reason or create problems or issues that I fabricate out of thin air. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that my past relationships were toxic and tumultuous. They were cheaters and liars.
I have carried that baggage into my relationship with my new partner by not believing a lot of the things he says.
For example, I doubt his feelings for me. When things are going smoothly between us, I always take five or 10 steps back. It isn’t fair that I put him through the wringer, but I don’t know any other way.
How can I get past this continuous issue?
PROBLEM TRUSTING IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR PROBLEM TRUSTING: The most effective way to do that would be to talk about this destructive pattern with a licensed mental health adviser. If you do, it may help you rid yourself of the “baggage” you are carrying, understand why you chose the men you did before, and make it easier to evaluate any new relationships that start to develop.

DEAR ABBY: I have known my friend “Matt” for more than 20 years. We’ve been close for most of those years.
Matt is gay, and early in our friendship, we had a mutual friend, “Gary,” who used a gay epithet often, even though he knew Matt is gay. It hurt Matt, but he wasn’t comfortable speaking to Gary about it, so I did. Gary not only apologized to Matt but to this day (some 18 years later), I haven’t heard Gary say that word in our company.
Recently, Matt has started using the N-word. I have told him that not only is it disgusting and offensive, but I compared it to the situation with Gary. Matt laughed it off and continues to use the word with no regard for me. I have started spending less time with him because of it because I don’t want him to think I condone his racist language. Is it time to sever ties with Matt?
DISAPPOINTED IN MARYLAND

DEAR DISAPPOINTED: I think so. The next time Matt uses the N-word, make clear to him that if you ever hear it from him again, your friendship will be OVER. And then follow through.

DEAR ABBY: I feel horrible about my “first time.” It was with my boyfriend, and it happened in the back seat of his car.
I had always dreamed of my first time being special, but after realizing we didn’t have many options, we decided the car was fine. Now I feel ashamed and guilty. Can you advise me?
NOT LIKE IIMAGINED IN TEXAS

DEAR NOT: I will try. When did your first time happen? Last weekend? Last month? Last year?
Whenever it was, it is in the past. Experience teaches us what works for us and what doesn’t. Learn from it, but don’t preoccupy yourself with regret over something you can’t change.
***
Good advice for everyone — teens to seniors — is in “The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It.” To order, send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447.

STEVEN CHARLES HAHN

Wed, 12/02/2020 - 8:30am

November 18, 1968 – November 29, 2020
Funeral services celebrating the life of Steven Charles Hahn, a lifelong resident of Franklin, will be held Thursday, December 3, 2020, at St. Jules Catholic Church in Franklin during a 2 p.m. Mass of Christian Burial with Father Peter Emusa serving as the Celebrant. A gathering of family and friends will be held at the church from 12 p.m. until time of service, with the Chaplet of Divine Mercy being prayed at 1 p.m.
Burial with Military Honors will be held Saturday, December 5, 2020, at 1 p.m. at Our Lady of the Pines Cemetery in Daingerfield, Texas with Father Francis O’Dowd conducting the graveside service.
Steven was born in Franklin on November 18, 1968, the youngest of seven children born to Clyde and Dolores Hahn, and passed away at the age of 52 on Sunday, November 29, 2020, at Ochsner Medical Center in New Orleans. Steven will be remembered most for his beaming smile and quiet acts of charity. He was always eager to help anyone in need of assistance, and loved his church, St. Jules, and his Catholic faith. He had a deep prayer life and a strong devotion of the rosary.
Steven enjoyed the simple things in life. Some of his favorite pastimes included LSU and Saints football, planting and growing a garden, and riding motorcycles. But what was most important in Steven’s life was spending time with his great nieces and nephews, who adored their Uncle Steven. He was honorably discharged after serving in the Navy aboard the U.S.S. Theodore Roosevelt. Steven worked in the oil field and electrical industry for many years.
Those he leaves behind include his six siblings; his sister and godmother, Donna H. Lancon and her husband Steve, five brothers; Clyde Lee Hahn Jr. and his wife Tammy, Neal Hahn and his wife Lisa, Timothy Hahn and his wife Alice, Donald Hahn and his companion Janice Voisin, and Michael Hahn and his wife Suzanne; 21 nieces and nephews; 25 great nieces and nephews; three special godchildren, Matthew Landry, Karla H. Dias and Zoe Dias; and his beloved cat, Knight.
He was preceded in death by his parents, Clyde Lee Hahn Sr. and Dolores Doty Hahn; and nephew, Matthew Pusateri.
Readers for the Mass will be Steven’s niece, Katelyn H. Guidry and niece and godchild, Karla H. Dias. Musical selections will be provided by Clay Boudreaux and will include “On Eagle’s Wings,” “Shepherd Me O God,” “Ave Maria,” “One Bread One Body,” and “Be Not Afraid.” Serving as pallbearers will be Donald Hahn Jr., Garrie Landry, Trent Prados, Tom Dupre, Mike Pontiff, and Chad Landry.
The family extends their heartfelt gratitude to Dr. Roland Degeyter, Franklin Foundation Hospital, Ochsner Medical Center, Father Francis O’Dowd, and Father Peter Emusa for their compassionate and loving care, always going above and beyond.
All those attending the visitation and service are asked to wear face masks.
Family and friends may view the obituary online by visiting www.iberts.com and are encouraged to share their condolences, cherished memories, love, and support for the family.
Arrangements have been entrusted to Ibert’s Mortuary, Inc., 1007 Main Street, Franklin, La. 70538, (337) 828-5426.

Mistletoe & Moss draws crowd

Tue, 12/01/2020 - 10:47am

Despite wet weather, the second annual Mistletoe & Moss Holiday Market was a big success held Saturday under the U.S. 90 bridge in downtown Morgan City.
The event was moved to an open air setting instead of the Morgan City Municipal Auditorium due to COVID-19 guidelines, said auditorium manager Jonathan Price. He and Beth Price, Morgan City Main Street Program director, coordinated the event.
Several hundred people visited the market throughout the day to see the wares of some 40 local vendors.
Patrons traveled from as far away as Oklahoma and booths ranged from food items to hand-crafted art.

Kennedy tells of $450,000 for workforce training projects in Louisiana

Tue, 12/01/2020 - 10:44am

MADISONVILLE — Sen. John Kennedy (R-La.), a member of the Senate Appropriations Committee, has announced $449,983 in grant funding from the Delta Regional Authority to support workforce training projects in three Louisiana cities, including funds for Nicholls State University in Thibodaux.
“Louisiana’s workers are determined, and giving them more training options will support both their professional success and the health of communities in Baton Rouge, Thibodaux and New Orleans,” said Kennedy. “It’s good to see this DRA funding focus on sectors that help our state thrive today and prepare for tomorrow.”
Projects supported by this DRA funding include:
—$150,000 to the University of Holy Cross, partnering with Delgado Community College, to provide scholarships for at least 10 professionals earning an accelerated bachelor’s degree focused on culinary studies.
—$150,000 to Nicholls State University to provide enhanced cybersecurity training and support activities to up to 147 workers and to expand training capacity.
—$149,983 to the Research Park Corporation to develop technology apprenticeship programs to train up to 48 individuals and meet the growing demand for technology workers in Louisiana.

Morgan City man arrested for hit and run, possession

Tue, 12/01/2020 - 10:43am
Staff Report

A Morgan City man was arrested Thursday and charged with hit and run as well as other offenses, including introduction of contraband into a penal institution.
Brandon Michael Leblanc, 34, of Oregon Street, was arrested at 10 a.m. and also charged with second-offense possession of marijuana, possession of drug paraphernalia and a warrant for failure to appear, Morgan City Police Chief James Blair said.
Officers called to the Fourth Street area to investigate a hit and run accident located the suspect vehicle driven by Leblanc leaving the scene.
Officers conducted a traffic stop, arrested Leblanc and found suspected marijuana and drug paraphernalia in his possession.
He was transported to the Morgan City Police Department for booking, and once at the Morgan City Police Department, a corrections officer located suspected marijuana concealed on Leblanc during the booking process.
A warrant check revealed the 16th Judicial District Court held an active warrant for his arrest, too.
Leblanc was booked and incarcerated at the Morgan City Police Department.
Blair also reported the following arrests:
—Mario D. Castellanos, 47, of Malden, Missouri, was arrested Wednesday at 6:06 p.m. and charged with entry on or remaining in places or land after forbidden.
Officers called to a La. 182 address about a person trespassing on private property learned Castellanos previously was barred from the property. He was arrested and transported to the Morgan City Police Department for booking and incarceration.
—Daniel Elliot, 21, of La. 182, Morgan City, was arrested Friday at 10:44 p.m. and charged with disturbing the peace intoxicated.
Officers called to Aucoin Street for a disturbance came into contact with Elliot. They learned he was involved in the disturbance complaint and was intoxicated.
He was arrested and transported to the Morgan City Police Department for booking and incarceration.
—Laura Ann Newbaker, 37, of Lee Charles Street, Franklin, was arrested Saturday at 2:36 p.m. on a warrant for telephone harassment.
She was located at the Franklin Police Department, arrested on the Morgan City Police Department warrant, and transported to the Morgan City Police Department for booking and incarceration.
—Armando Hernandez, 29, of Thibodaux, was arrested Sunday at 10:08 p.m. and charged with speeding, driving under suspension, fourth-offense possession of marijuana, possession of drug paraphernalia and illegal use of a controlled dangerous substance in the presence of a person under 17 years of age.
An officer who observed a traffic violation in the area of Brashear Avenue and Second Street conducted a traffic stop.
A computer check revealed Hernandez’ driver’s license was under suspension. He was arrested, and during the arrest, he was found in possession of suspected marijuana and drug paraphernalia.
Hernandez was transported to the Morgan City Police Department for booking and incarceration.
St. Mary Parish Sheriff Blaise Smith reported these arrests:
—Jerroid Jermain Garrison, 28, of Patterson, was arrested Wednesday at 8:26 p.m. on two warrants for failure to appear on the charges of unauthorized use of a motor vehicle and distribution of marijuana. Bail has not been set.
—Matthew Taylor Rollins, 27, of Patterson, was arrested Wednesday at 10:02 p.m. for improper display of license plates, no driver’s license and possession of marijuana. Rollins was released on a summons to appear in court Feb. 23.
—Tommy Joe McNally, 50, Morgan City, was arrested Wednesday at 8:38 p.m. for obstruction public passage. McNally was released on a summons to appear Feb. 23.
—Kerry Davis Jr., 29, Franklin, was arrested Thursday at 2:09 a.m. for no passing zone and driving while intoxicated. Davis was released on a $3,000 bond.
—Dayshawn Dewayne Short, 36, Morgan City, was arrested Thursday at 3 a.m. for possession of methamphetamines and drug paraphernalia, and a warrant for failure to appear on the charge of criminal neglect of family. No bail has been set.
—Mario Otoniel, 30, Amelia, was arrested Thursday at 11:30 a.m. for possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia. Otoniel was released on a summons to appear Feb. 23.
—Tyron Lamar Charles, 20, Baldwin, was arrested Thursday at 1:22 p.m. for no seat belt, possession of schedule II drugs, introduction of contraband-penal institution, illegally carrying of weapon in the presence of a controlled dangerous substance, possession of marijuana, possession of firearm with obliterated serial number and illegal possession of stolen firearm.
Charles was released on a $10,000 bond.
—Charles Brian Collier, 41, Westwego, was arrested Friday at 5:40 p.m. for disturbing the peace-intoxicated. Collier was released on a summons to appear Feb. 23.
—Anthony Qint Hills, 33, Baldwin, was arrested Friday at 9:51 p.m. for no head lights and no insurance. Hills was released on a summons to appear Feb. 23.
—Frankie Marcell Pilote Jr., 29, Patterson, was arrested Friday at 2:31 a.m. and charged with possession of firearm-felon and on a warrant for failure to appear on the charges of possession of a firearm-felon and child support. Bail was set at $50,490.
—Lazin Lamarch McDaniel, 25, Franklin, was arrested Friday at 5:04 p.m. for maximum speed limit, no driver’s license and on a warrant for possession of schedule I drugs and marijuana, both with intent to distribute; possession of drug paraphernalia; resisting an officer; and possession of a firearm in the presence of a controlled dangerous substance.
Bail has not been set.
—Dale Mark Simoneaux Jr., 30, Bayou Vista, was arrested Saturday at 4:36 p.m. for possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia. Simoneaux was released on a summons to appear Feb. 23.
—Marissa Lynn Varner, 22, Morgan City, was arrested Saturday at 11:13 p.m. for possession of marijuana and improper display of license plates. Varner was released on a summons to appear Feb. 23.
Berwick Police Chief David Leonard reported the following arrest:
—Christopher L. Lacaze, 41, of Knight Street, Berwick, was arrested Saturday at 7:15 p.m. for domestic abuse battery.
Officers responded at 6:59 p.m. Saturday to a domestic disturbance at a Knight Street residence where they learned Lacaze was one of the individuals involved, and he committed a battery upon the victim.
Lacaze was arrested and booked into the Berwick Jail where he remains with no bail set.

Marcell Phillips Campbell

Tue, 12/01/2020 - 10:39am

August 6, 1935 — November 24, 2020
Marcell Phillips Campbell was born August 6, 1935 in Long Creek, South Carolina, to the late Wade Phillips Sr. and Mary Watkins Phillips. She was a resident of Berwick, Louisiana for many years. She was called to her heavenly home surrounded by family in her home in Houston, Texas on November 24, 2020.
She is survived by her children, Teresa Campbell-Corneille of Seneca, South Carolina; Mary Beadle and husband, Gary of Berwick, Louisiana; and Leslie Campbell and wife, Dawn of Dacula, Georgia; two brothers, Pete Phillips of Seneca, South Carolina and David Phillips of Walhalla, South Carolina; one sister, Molly Whitener of Mountain Rest, South Carolina; 14 grandchildren, Brandy Spinella, Sabrina & Scott Williams, Tab & Abby Beadle, Chad & Keaten Bella Jr., Jessica & Bradley Thibodeaux, Dillon & Hannah Beadle, and Bailey, Lucas & Samantha Campbell; and 10 great-grandchildren, Neaveh Spinella, Marlee, Tripp & Collins Thibodeaux, Zeph Hoffpauir, Cru, Layf & Wren Bella, Gavin & Bryson Roy, and Ann Marie & Reid Beadle.
She is joined in heaven by the love of her life, Willie Burt “Bill” Campbell; her parents, Wade Phillips Sr. and Mary Watkins Phillips; three brothers, Cleve Phillips, W.J. Phillips and Wade Phillips Jr.; and two sisters, Polly Manning and June Sargent.
Visitation for Marcell will be Tuesday, Dec. 1, 2020, at Hargrave Funeral Home from 6 p.m. until 9 p.m. Visitation will resume Wednesday Dec. 2, 2020, from 8 a.m. until time of service. Services will begin at 9 a.m. at Hargrave Funeral Home with Rev. Steve Porter officiating. Following the services Marcell will be laid to rest next to her beloved husband Willie “Bill” Campbell in the Berwick Mausoleum.
Hargrave Funeral Home will be in charge of all arrangements.

Tips offered for choosing a Medicare plan

Tue, 12/01/2020 - 9:14am
From Blue Cross

BATON ROUGE — For Medicare-eligible Louisianans, there’s still time to sign up for Medicare Advantage coverage. The Annual Enrollment Period ends on Dec. 7.
For those still seeking coverage, Blue Cross offers the following tips on choosing a plan:
Know your Medicare options
With Original Medicare (Parts A and B), you get coverage for hospital care, doctor visits, skilled nursing facility care, home health care services and preventive services.
Original Medicare doesn’t cover all of healthcare expenses, leaving you responsible for about 20% of costs. It also doesn’t include prescription drug coverage (Part D), which can be bought separately.
With Medicare Advantage (Part C), you get Parts A and B, plus extra benefits. These plans are offered through private insurance companies.
Consider Medicare Advantage
If you are looking for an all-in-one plan with extra benefits, Medicare Advantage might be right for you. Depending on the plan you choose, you could get a fitness center membership, plus vision, hearing and dental services. Some MA plans even include prescription drug coverage.
You will still need to pay your Medicare Part B premium, but the good news is that MA plans have low or zero monthly premiums. You really can get more for less!
Review your prescription drugs
MA plans that include prescription drug coverage — called MAPD plans — will have a formulary or list of covered drugs.
Look up your drugs on this list to see if they are covered and how much they will cost on each plan you are considering.
Check the network
Whether you are signing up for MA for the first time or just exploring your options, it is important to make sure your doctors and hospitals are in the network. Check the plan’s provider directory to be sure.
Ask for help
Don’t get overwhelmed by your Medicare choices. Reach out to friends and family members who are on Medicare to find out what they like about their plan. When you are ready to enroll, an agent or broker can give you expert advice to guide you through the process.
Medicare beneficiaries are encouraged to use the following resources to learn more about Medicare and their plan options for 2021:
Medicare Made Easy Videos and Virtual Chats
Visit the Blue Cross Facebook page to view our virtual chats with Medicare experts and learn annual enrollment tips. Blue Cross’ Medicare Made Easy YouTube playlist features short videos from in-house experts, including a new Medicare 101 video. The Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Louisiana YouTube channel also has videos about various health topics from Blue Cross’ clinical team, including doctors, nurses, social workers and pharmacists.
Expert Advice by Phone
With fewer options for in-person assistance, Medicare beneficiaries can still get the help they need from Blue Cross experts who can answer their questions and help them find a plan that best meets their needs. It doesn’t cost anything to work with an agent, and there is no obligation to enroll.
To learn more about Medicare visit medicare.gove and for Blue Cross plan options, visit bcbslaplan.com/medicare or call 1-800-568-1417 (TTY 711), 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. daily.

COVID causes rift between nurse’s boyfriend, his sister

Tue, 12/01/2020 - 9:13am
By Jeanne Phillips, ©United Features Syndicate

DEAR ABBY: I am a nurse in New York City. My boyfriend lives in Philadelphia.
During the height of the pandemic, we didn’t see each other because I worked on a COVID unit and contracted the virus. His sister became very controlling and kept urging him not to see me, which brought me great pain. I was extremely lonely, and for months, the only people I saw were my co-workers.
At the end of May, my boyfriend and I began seeing each other regularly. Because he sees me, his sister refuses to see him, which makes me very sad. His mother died two years ago.
When his family tries to plan things, his sister either comes late or doesn’t show up. If I’m invited, she says she doesn’t want to be in the same room as me.
I spend a lot of time with my boyfriend and his older father, who he now lives with. His father has never expressed that he feels uncomfortable around me.
I feel like we have to plan things around this sister. I want my boyfriend to spend time with his family, but she’s extremely controlling when everyone else in the family seems excited to see me.
What do I do?
UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATION

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: I am assuming that if you are again working that you are tested regularly for COVID and therefore in no danger of giving the virus to anyone. Because there has been so much misinformation spread during the pandemic, many people are being extremely cautious — and rightfully so.
If you had a good relationship with your boyfriend’s sister before the pandemic began, recognize that she acts the way she does because she’s afraid for her life, so stop personalizing it and judging her for it. She has a right to protect herself, even if it seems irrational to you.

DEAR ABBY: As a grandparent, I feel the Christmas gift my husband and I received last year from our granddaughter was a gift of a lifetime. We have enjoyed it all year.
It was a gift of memories, written on 12 cards to be opened on the first day of each month. She had inserted each card into an individual envelope, designated with which month it was to be opened. She put them in a box wrapped with a bow and placed it under the tree.
The excitement generated while anxiously awaiting a new month’s arrival so the new memory could be read created enthusiasm among the entire family. In each envelope were experiences we had forgotten or never realized had made an impact on her life.
A gift like this requires only time and 12 pieces of paper. The concept could even be reversed so it would be from grandparent to grandchild. Few of us grandparents need material gifts, but the caring, thought and love shown by this gift will remain with us all our lives.
WANTED TO SHARE, FRESNO, CALIF.

DEAR WANTED TO SHARE: What a precious gift. I have long advocated that the most meaningful gift we can give each other is the gift of self, in the form of time, attention, a handwritten letter or a phone call.
Your granddaughter’s concept of a “Memory of the Month Club” was ingenious. I congratulate her for it, and I hope it inspires others.
***
For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more sociable person, order “How to Be Popular.” Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447.

Students back at school as Phase 2 rules are in effect

Mon, 11/30/2020 - 11:26am
Staff Report

St. Mary public schools were scheduled to reopen to students Monday, while administrators keep an eye on the community spread of COVID-19 in the parish.
On Wednesday, Gov. John Bel Edwards imposed a modified form of Phase 2 economic restrictions as defense against a third wave of coronavirus infections that made its way into Louisiana beginning about Halloween. Most of the new restrictions are lower limits on customer capacity for nonessential businesses.
Edwards’ announcement specifically avoided new restrictions for schools, saying that decision remains with local boards for now.
St. Mary Parish Superintendent Dr. Teresa Bagwell told School Board members that plans are to continue in-classroom instruction following the move back to Phase 2.
“Louisiana Department of Education will likely work on further guidance protocols for schools in the coming days,” Bagwell said in an email. “However, according to the response order, it stipulates that local school systems can continue to follow the Phase 3 requirements during modified Phase 2.”
Public school campuses in Louisiana turned to virtual learning after Edwards’ original stay-at-home order March 13. Schools reopened under Phase 2 restrictions in August with a hybrid of limited on-campus and remote instruction.
All students returned to school in St. Mary when Phase 3 rules went into effect Sept. 11 in Louisiana. Phase 3 is the least restrictive level of COVID mitigation developed by the White House Coronavirus Task Force. Louisiana’s version also included a mask mandate, which remains in effect.
For most of the fall, Louisiana seemed to avoid the resurgence of COVID-19 seen in large areas of the country, especially parts of the Midwest where earlier surges had a smaller impact than here or on the East and West coasts.
But since early November, Louisiana public officials have seen an alarming rise in COVID test positivity and in hospitalizations, which have doubled this month.
On Wednesday, these modified Phase 2 restrictions went into effect:
—All Louisianans are encouraged to avoid gatherings of individuals not part of their households.
—All businesses, private and public sectors, are encouraged to use remote work where they can.
—All restaurants are limited to 50% of their indoor capacity. Restaurants should move as much dining outdoors as they can. Social distancing is required.
—For bars in parishes above 5% positivity, bars are closed to indoor sales and consumption but open for outdoor consumption at tables only and at 25% capacity, with a maximum of 50 people. Social distancing is required. Take-out and delivery will still be available.
—Retail businesses at 50% capacity, except for essential businesses, as defined by federal guidance from the Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency.
—Gyms may be open at 50% of their capacity.
—Places of worship will remain at a maximum of 75% of their capacity or the number of people who can physically distance with at least six feet between each immediate household. The state fire marshal will put out additional COVID mitigation measures to make services safer.
—Barber and beauty shops, and nail salons may open at 50% of their capacity.
—Movie theaters may open at 50% of their capacity.
—Indoor gatherings at event/reception centers are limited to 25% capacity or up to 75 individuals.
—Outdoor gatherings at event/reception centers are limited to 25% capacity or up to 150 individuals when strict physical distancing is not possible.
—All sporting events will be capped at 25% capacity.

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