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No one in Louisiana scored more political touchdowns this year by simply saying stuff in clever and obscene ways than U.S. Sen. John Kennedy.

The junior senator led the way in 2022 when it came to countrified quips, folksy one-liners and comical diatribes.

Critics called him “Foghorn Leghorn” and claimed it was just an act. But voters loved it — to the tune of 62 percent against a field of 12. (After shattering most re-election fundraising records, that was Kennedy’s margin of victory this fall.)

Over the past 29 years, few politicos have appeared more in “They Said It,” a weekly collection of catchy quotes I’m now tasked with writing for LaPolitics Weekly, a trade publication for elected officials and political professionals.

Kennedy offered a reminder of why on election night last month.

"God is great, dogs are good and the people of Louisiana are star-spangled awesome,” he said, adding, “This win has taken my breath away."

Prior to winning, Kennedy spent considerable time complaining about his colleagues.

"I don't hate anybody,” Kennedy said. “I start out the morning wanting to follow Jesus, but by 10 a.m., I just wanna slap somebody. It’s just another day in the life of working with our nation’s dopiest and most dim-witted."

Kennedy told us this year his elected counterparts in Washington are “managerial elites” who are “so crooked they could swallow a nail and spit up a corkscrew.”

In June, he even revealed on Fox that he knew something about the market price for cocaine in Louisiana.

”In my state,” Kennedy said, “the price of gas is so high that it would be cheaper to buy cocaine and just run everywhere.”

In October, Kennedy likewise launched a statewide television commercial where he warned voters, "If you hate cops because they’re cops, call a crackhead.”

Kennedy, however, didn’t dominate headlines the entire year. In Capitoland, the decennial task of redistricting captured a large swath of 2022.

Due to a new U.S. Census count, lawmakers were given the opportunity to redraw election lines, including their own.

“It’s the ultimate exercise in herding cats, but it’s the only time all of the cats care,” said Senate President Page Cortez of Lafayette, during the first of two special sessions for redistricting.

Elected officials across the state found their districts rearranged as lawsuits stacked up in the courts for challenges that are still in play today.

“It's like you threw a land mine into my district and blew it up,” said state Rep. Kenny Cox of Natchitoches.

The legislative year was a tough one for some lawmakers who left it all on their respective floors.

"I'm not a lawyer. I didn't spend the night at a Holiday Inn,” said House Health Chairman Larry Bagley of Stonewall, after being asked questions for which he didn’t have answers. “I'm doing the best that I can."

Still, members of the House and Senate endeavored to tackle the newest issues in technology, while managing to sound like the same old Legislature.

"Is coding now the term used for the typewriter class we used to take?” asked Rep. Robby Carter of Amite during debate over a bill that would have added computer coding as a foreign language course for high schoolers.

Rep. Blake Miguez of New Iberia also had questions about the bill from Rep. Lance Harris of Alexandria: "I know Rep. (Mike) Huval can speak French. Can you speak some computer code for us?”
“0102210,” responded Harris. “That means sit down and don't ask no more questions.”

Lawmakers also learned there were limits to their own powers. That was the case when a bill seeking term limits for sheriffs was defeated. "We’re an ant when it comes to the importance of a sheriff,” said Rep. Mike Johnson of Pineville.

What challenges the regular session did present were quickly alleviated by an unprecedented amount of federal money and surplus dollars.

Senate Health Chairman Fred Mills of Parks observed, "So many have called me asking, ‘Did I get my money?’ Right now I feel like Santa Claus, but I don’t have enough presents for everybody."

Looking toward the next regular session in 2023, Rep. Richard Nelson of Mandeville has said his proposal to reconfigure the income tax structure is “for all the marbles.”
Ways and Means Chairman Stuart Bishop called it the “elephant in the room."

That kind of talk is giving the executive branch heartburn, especially as the current term enters its final year and lawmakers approach re-election.

"You’re going to have a lot of posturing going on,” Commissioner of Administration Jay Dardenne said during a recent Board of Regents meeting. “We don’t think the Legislature ought to take any dramatic steps in regard to tax reform.”

Attention has also turned to the next race for governor, for which Attorney General Jeff Landry remains the only major declared candidate. Kennedy, of course, will make his own announcement soon on the contest. As for who Gov. John Bel Edwards will eventually back, he told WAFB-TV, ”You can bet it won’t be Jeff Landry.”

Kennedy, for his part, is keeping a focus on national politics and — predictably — saying more stuff that his supporters love.

“I used to have a beagle named Roger, and Roger was a rascal,” Kennedy said on Fox News earlier this month.

“About every two weeks Roger would run off. He’d always come back. About half the time he’d come back dragging roadkill that he’d hide under my back porch. President Biden’s energy policy looks like something Roger would keep under my back porch.”

For more Louisiana political news, visit www. LaPolitics.com or follow Alford on Twitter @ LaPoliticsNow

(Editor’s note: The charges listed here and the narratives that go with them are provided by the police agencies that made the arrests. Guilt or innocence has not been determined in court.)

A Lafayette teenager faces six counts of attempted murder after his arrest Wednesday in an August shooting investigation in Franklin.

Franklin

Police Chief Morris Beverly reported these arrests:

--Arizeon Keal, 19, Tennessee Street, Lafayette, was arrested at 11:16 p.m. Wednesday on a warrant dated April 1 alleging disturbing the peace (alarming the public) and illegal carrying of weapons and on a warrant dated Aug. 23 alleging aggravated criminal damage to property, illegal use of weapons or dangerous instrumentalities, and six counts of attempted second-degree murder.

Keal was additionally arrested on a warrant for the Carencro Police Department alleging three counts of theft.

Keal was booked, processed and held on a $753,000 bond.

Beverly thanked the East Baton Rouge Parish Sheriff’s Office for its assistance.

--Dewellyn Howard, 42, Franklin, was arrested at 8:03 p.m. Wednesday on charges of domestic abuse battery by strangulation and two counts of domestic abuse battery with child endangerment. Howard was booked, processed and held on a $10,000 bond.

--David Fontenot, 29, Tamarac St., Scott, was arrested at 10:21 p.m. Wednesday on charges of criminal trespassing, unauthorized entry of an inhabited dwelling and aggravated assault. Fontenot was booked, processed, and held on a $9,500 bond.

St. Mary

Sheriff Blaise Smith reported that over the last 24-hour reporting period, the Sheriff’s Office responded to 35 complaints and made this arrest:

--Clifton James Escort Jr., 44, Pennsylvania, was arrested at 6:06 p.m. Wednesday on four warrants alleging failure to appear on charges of operating a vehicle while intoxicated, hit and run, possession of marijuana, possession of drug paraphernalia, possession of methamphetamine, resisting an officer with force or violence, obstruction of justice (tampering), possession of marijuana (more than 14 grams), resisting an officer, and two counts of criminal neglect of family.

Bail has not been set at this time.

Morgan City

Police Chief Chad M. Adams reported that over the last 24-hour reporting period, the Morgan City Police Department responded to 51 calls for service and made these arrests:

--Aaliilyah Poole, 29, Sanders Street, Patterson, was arrested at 3:49 p.m. Wednesday on charges of resisting an officer and possession of marijuana.

--Barry I. Jones, 35, Mallard Street, Morgan City, was arrested at midnight Thursday on a warrant alleging two counts of failure to appear to pay fine (6th Ward Morgan City Court).

Richard Ray Adams, 71, a resident of Berwick, passed away Tuesday, Dec. 27, 2022, at his home.

He is survived by his wife, Connie Traylor Adams, and one daughter, Misty Adams.

He was preceded in deaths by his parents; one sister; and three brothers.

A memorial service will be held at 10 a.m. Friday, Dec. 30, at the Berwick United Pentecostal Church with Pastor Christopher Gonzales officiating.

Twin City Funeral Home is in charge of arrangements.

Estimates vary depending on the year and scope of the study, but research into New Year’s resolutions has generally found that fewer than 10% of people who make resolutions each year stay the course until they’ve accomplished their goal.
In fact, a 2020 poll conducted by OnePoll in conjunction with Crispy Green found that the average person has abandoned his or her resolution by Feb. 1.
No two people are the same, but resolutions could fall victim to various pitfalls that can affect anyone. Recognition of these pitfalls when making a resolution may improve your chances of being successful in the year ahead.
—Lack of specificity: When making a resolution, be as specific as possible. If you want to read more, resolve to read two books per month (or however many books you feel you can reasonably read in a month). If you want to lose weight, speak to your physician to help you set a specific weight loss goal you can meet without compromising your overall health.
—No measuring stick to track progress: Specificity is important, but it’s not the only tool you can use to stay the course with a resolution.
Maintain a resolution journal or blog that allows you to gauge your performance. This can help you engage more fully in your resolution efforts, providing an outlet you can use to explore your successess and failures. The more engaged you are in your resolution efforts, the more likely those efforts will prove successful.
—Going it alone: The buddy system works when pursuing various goals, and New Year’s resolutions are no exception.
A friend or family member along for the resolution journey can make it easier to maintain your motivation. For example, anyone who wants to read more can join a book club, which can provide the motivation to finish books or excerpts before a weekly discussion.
—Biting off more than you can chew: Small resolutions may not seem like much, but minor efforts can serve as the stepping stones to realizing larger goals. If your goals are too ambitious at the outset, you’re more likely to give up at the first setback.
—Not anticipating setbacks: Setbacks will happen, and as noted, it’s easy to let them derail your efforts when they first appear.
Recognize that there will be bumps in the road but that these bumps should in no way end your journey. Take setbacks as the valuable lessons that they can be, and use them as an opportunity to examine what you did that didn’t work and what you can do to avoid future setbacks.