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DEAR ABBY: My husband and I moved near the ocean last year. I have two sons, 21 and 17. My older son moved across the country with some friends. The younger son, “Cody,” chose at the last minute to stay with his dad.
Abby, it has been awful. Cody dropped out of high school and did not keep up with his home-school work. He quit his jobs, and he’s on depression medication. This week, both boys moved where I am. My house is small, so I got them an apartment in my name. The landlord thinks I’m going to be living there.
My question is, how often should I go there and clean, make dinner and visit? I feel like I’ll want to be there all the time — before work, after work and on weekends. My husband thinks I should back off, but Cody is only 17 and going through a lot.
They moved into the apartment today, so this is still new. Also, is it crazy that I paid to put them in their own apartment?
I felt like it was an OK choice since our house is so small. They both are planning to get jobs, and the younger one wants to start college classes. But they’re lazy and messy, and I feel like I need to step in to help more.
Any suggestions?
MOM OF BOYS IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR MOM: Your older son is an adult. Your younger one is on the verge of becoming one. It’s time for both to learn the skills they need to take care of themselves.
Going there every day to cook, clean, do laundry and visit would be counterproductive to teaching them how to become independent.
If your older son has a job, he should contribute to the rent and groceries. Your younger son will never get into college if he doesn’t do the homework he’s ignoring. Having a small home doesn’t mean he couldn’t live with you until he establishes a healthy routine. Although it’s tempting, please do not deprive them of this learning opportunity.

DEAR ABBY: I have a brother-in-law I have no contact with because he is jealous of my success and has made violent threats toward me. Every holiday and family function, when my mom asks me to attend, I ask if “Mr. Violent” is going to be there. Her answer is always, “I can’t tell him he is not invited.”
It always turns out that my wife and kids attend, and I go either to work or to a bar to watch sports because I don’t want to be around this person whom I cannot stand.
Any advice on how I should handle this? I am considering moving far away from my family.
LOATHING IN FLORIDA

DEAR LOATHING: Your brother-in-law’s jealousy is his problem; you have made it yours. That was a mistake. If an alcohol or drug problem has caused his threats of violence, your entire family should be urging him to get into treatment. If he has actually acted out, the police should have been called to discourage it from happening again.
Moving may be an expensive solution to your in-law problem. A more practical one might be to accept that you will never have a close relationship with this brother-in-law, allow him to “enjoy” his jealousy and pretty much ignore him.
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For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order “How to Have a Lovely Wedding.” Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447.

(Editor’s note: The charges listed here and the narratives that go with them are provided by the police agencies that made the arrests. Guilt or innocence has not been determined in court.)

Morgan City and St. Mary authorities reported seven arrests Wednesday, including charges of drug possession, theft and domestic abuse.

St. Mary

Sheriff Blaise Smith reported that over the last 24-hour reporting period, the Sheriff's Office responded to 31 complaints and reports the following arrests:

--Kenneth Wayne Rollins, 33, Patterson, was arrested at 9:25 a.m. Wednesday on charges of possession of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia, and on a warrant alleging failure to appear on a charge of simple criminal damage to property. Bail has not been set at this time.

--Randy Mark Pinkerton, 27, Patterson, was arrested at 1:18 p.m. Wednesday on two warrants alleging failure to appear on charges of accessory after the fact to simple escape and possession of methamphetamine. Bail has not been set at this time.

--Pernell Jack Jr., 33, Jeanerette, was arrested at 1:49 p.m. Wednesday on a warrant alleging failure to appear on a charge of theft of goods. Jack was released on a $2,500 bond.

--Chelsea Elizabeth Carbonell, 33, Centerville, was arrested at 9:16 p.m. Wednesday on a charge of domestic abuse aggravated assault (child endangerment law). Bail has not been set at this time.

--Jeffery Paul Perrillioux, 55, Lafayette, was arrested at 6:29 p.m. Wednesday on a warrant alleging failure to appear on charges of stalking and entry on or remaining on land after being forbidden, and on an MCPD warrant alleging failure to appear. Bail has not been set at this time.

Morgan City

Chief Chad M. Adams reported that the Morgan City Police Department responded to 35 calls for service over the last 24-hour reporting period and made these arrests:

--Russell James Gunner, 50, Prairie Road, Centerville, was arrested at 9:30 p.m. Wednesday on a charge of failure to appear for trial (16th Judicial District Court).

--Jimmie Johnson, 68, Fourth Street, Morgan City, was arrested at 10:48 p.m. Wednesday on a charge of possession of marijuana.

Visitors to the city of Franklin will be able to scan a QR code with the cameras in their cellphones or other mobile devices to bring up a digital map and guide to local businesses, attractions and other information about the city, thanks to the newly appointed Economic Vitality Committee, Mayor Eugene Foulcard said during the December meeting of the Franklin City Council.
Foulcard said following the meeting that QR codes will be placed on sidewalks throughout the city to give visitors and residents a quick way to access the digital maps. QR codes are graphical representations of digital data, similar to barcodes found on groceries and other items, which can be scanned using the camera of a smartphone or computer tablet. The device uses the code to access the map via the Internet.
The map is not to scale, but is used to show the locations of businesses, restaurants, attractions, fast food restaurants, healthcare facilities, hotels, government offices and other points of interest. The map will be updated frequently, according to a post on the City of Franklin Mayor’s Office Facebook page. The work was done in partnership with the Cajun Coast Visitors & Convention Bureau and is part of the administration’s efforts to promote shopping, eating and playing locally first.
“All they have to do is scan the QR code on their cellphone, and all of the business and all of the shops and restaurants, all things Franklin pop up,” Foulcard said in an interview on Wednesday, Dec. 20. “It’s a work in progress, but it was well received.”
The city council passed a resolution to approve the city’s utility bill collection process, so that the city can better collect on delinquent bills, Foulcard said.
The effort is being made to bring the city more into line with the policies of other area water systems like Charenton, Patterson and Centerville.
“We’re basically saying that if those bills are in arrears and (payment is) not received by the 25th of the month, there’s going to be a 10 percent late charge assessed to those bills,” the mayor said. “Basically any customer whose bill is not paid in full by the 15th of the following month will be placed on the cutoff list and the water supply to the meter will be turned off. There’s going to be a disconnect fee.”
Foulcard said municipalities must treat their utility systems like a business.
“If people don’t pay their cellphone bills, their cellphones are turned off,” he said. “We’re not saying we won’t be compassionate. We are going to be compassionate and work with the water customers, but we have to kind of get in line, and that’s where some municipalities fall short is because so many breaks are given on water bills. But we’re bound by law to collect water bills. If city water goes through those lines, we have to collect those bills.”
The council also passed a resolution authorizing a prior period adjustment to the utility fund and liquid and solid waste fund.
“Our auditors have been suggesting that we do a prior period adjustment,” Foulcard said. “That is a long-term fund, probably over 25 years ago, that was set up in the city. We’re just cleaning up that bookkeeping issue.”
Foulcard also updated the council on the work being done on Cayce Street and the Yokely Bayou Basin drainage project.
Work is being done on Cayce Street to replace waterlines and crossovers and tie-ins, along with replacing or repairing sewer lines and drainage culverts. The work is anticipated to be complete in mid-2024, Foulcard said.
“They’re doing all the internal stuff right now before they start overlaying the streets,” he said. “I told them that the Yokely project is moving along with the dredging and widening of the Yokely Canal.”
Foulcard also said he has been asked why new playground equipment is being purchased instead of using that money for repairing or replacing the city’s 100-year-old waterlines. The mayor said he explained that money for projects like new playground equipment comes from grants that are required to be used for the purposes for which they were approved by the state or federal government groups that take applications for those funds.
“If we have grant opportunities for other things we could do in the city that doesn’t have anything to do with the waterlines, of course we’re going to go after those dollars,” he said. “Those funds are earmarked funds.”
The city can’t take $400,000 from the federal Department of Housing and Urban Development that’s been granted for the city to use to buy playground equipment and instead use that money for the water system, Foulcard said.
The mayor also mentioned the upcoming New Year’s Eve celebration from 8 p.m. to midnight on Dec. 31 at the courthouse square.
“I just wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year,” Foulcard said. “I’d just like to remind everyone to be safe, don’t drink and drive, and enjoy your holidays.”

The dawn of a new year marks a great time to turn over a new leaf. Many people begin a new year by making resolutions, and aspiring to eat healthier is annually among the most popular pledges health-conscious individuals make.
A recent Statista survey of hundreds of people across the globe found that eating healthier was the second most popular New Year’s resolution of 2023. In fact, 50% of respondents indicated they set goals to eat healthier in the year ahead.
Though each year is different, it’s fair to assume a similarly large percentage of resolution-minded individuals will aspire to eat healthier over the next 12 months. As people begin their journeys to a healthier lifestyle, they can consider these strategies to stay the course with a new dietary lifestyle.
—Do not eat too close to bedtime. A 2014 study published in the Journal of Human Nutrition and Dietetics found that eating more of a day’s total energy intake in the evening is associated with a higher risk of being overweight or obese. Researchers behind the study concluded that eating more of the day’s energy intake at midday can lower the risk of being overweight or obese. Individuals are more likely to stay the course when they see positive results, so try to eat dinner several hours before bedtime and resist the urge to snack after dinnertime.
—Treat yourself, but only periodically. It’s unreasonable and potentially counterproductive to completely avoid foods seen as treats. Cutting out indulgent foods may seem appropriate, but such an approach could make you miserable, and a diet that sparks feelings of misery will prove harder to commit to than one that allows for the occasional indulgence.
Moderation is the name of the game, and that should be a rule of thumb for both healthy foods and indulgences. Don’t make indulgences part of your daily routine, even if you eat them in moderation. Rather, save treats for special occasions, and even then only eat them in moderation.
—Consider eating less, but more frequently. Data is conflicting in regard to eating smaller but more frequent meals. A 2015 study published in the Journal of the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics found that individuals who had six or more eating occasions in 24 hours had a lower mean body mass index than people who had four or fewer eating occasions in 24 hours.
Researchers behind the study concluded that eating a larger number of small meals throughout the day may be associated with improved diet quality and lower BMI. This approach is commonly referred to as “grazing,” and some research has indicated it has no metabolic advantage over other approaches to eating.
So what to make of the mixed results? Dieters can decide for themselves and eat more frequent but smaller, healthier meals to combat hunger pangs that can arise when switching to a new diet. If hunger is no longer posing a threat that can derail your diet, then this approach might increase the chances you stay committed to eating right.
Millions of people will begin January on a quest to eat healthier in the year ahead. Some simple strategies can help them stay the course as they adjust to a new dietary lifestyle.