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Friendship with alcoholic causes guilt, sorrow

DEAR ABBY: I have a friend who is an alcoholic. I met her when we first moved here five years ago. At that time, I wasn’t aware of her drinking problem. Over the years it has become very apparent. I have yelled at her, shown deep concern for her, threatened rehab, begged her to get help, etc.
She calls me late in the evening rambling on about ridiculous things, repeating the same stories over and over, crying, claiming she’s having panic attacks and all sorts of other health ailments that are most likely caused by her drinking. I am at my wits’ end with her. She’s a good person and has a good heart, but I know I can’t save her because she’s already stated she will never stop drinking.
How do I manage to keep my own sanity? I sometimes feel like I enable her by not calling her out on all her excuses for her problems when I know well they’re all because of the drinking.
ENABLER IN MINNESOTA

DEAR ENABLER: I have two suggestions for you, and I hope you will avail yourself of both. The first is to go online to al-anon.org to find the nearest location for meetings (you will find they are all over) and attend some. Al-Anon is a sister organization of Alcoholics Anonymous, and it was founded to help and support the friends and family members of people who have an alcohol problem. It will help you to understand that YOU cannot help your friend. Only SHE can do that by mustering up the resolve to quit drinking. Many alcoholics do this only after they finally realize the consequences their addiction has cost them. In this case, the price may be her friendship with you.
The second is to tell your friend — while she is sober — that she cannot continue calling you when she has been drinking, and that if she does, you will hang up. Then do it.

DEAR ABBY: My 53-year-old brother had an affair eight years ago. He and his wife have four children. When he told his wife about it, they started sleeping in separate bedrooms. She stays with him for the kids’ sake and for financial reasons.
The other woman, “Rachael,” recently contacted him saying she has cancer and has no family who want to take care of her. He put her up in his cabin in the mountains and hasn’t told his wife. He asked what I thought, and honestly, I feel that although I am sad for Rachael, my brother should put his wife before his concern for this other woman. I’m angry with him for what he’s doing to his wife. What should he do?
DISAGREEING IN THE SOUTH

DEAR DISAGREEING: I assume that when your brother confided what he has been doing, you gave him your thoughts on it. If you didn’t, you should.
I find it telling that the person asking me what he should do is you and not him. Rather than try to run interference for him, recognize the ball is in his court, and he has to decide for himself what he should — or should not — do, because he is playing a very dangerous game.
***
For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more sociable person, order “How to Be Popular.” Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447.

Two more cases of COVID-19 reported in St. Mary

St. Martin cases jump by 13; one-day death toll 68 statewide

Two more positive tests for COVID-19 in St. Mary were reported at noon Sunday, raising the total to 67 after 238 tests.

Another 13 cases were reported in St. Martin, where 77 people have now been infected after 114 tests.

Three more cases were reported in Assumption for a total of 56 after 92 tests.

Statewide, the number of newly reported COVID-19 cases was relatively small, 504, for a total of 13,010. But the number of deaths rose by 68 to 477.

More than 60,000 tests have now been performed statewide.

The number of COVID-19 patients being treated in Louisiana hospitals grew by 77 to 1,803. Of those 561 patients were on ventilators.

St. Mary government imposes COVID-19 restrictions on stores

Beginning Monday, St. Mary Parish grocery stories, dollar stores, convenience stories and pharmacies will be limited to 6 a.m.-8 p.m. business, and can allow no more customers than 35% of the capacity determined by the fire marshal. The new rules are in executive order from Parish President David Hanagriff.

The new measures against the spread of COVID-19 were announced at a Saturday press conference.

Shoppers are being asked to limit themselves to one person for one cart or basket. Twenty-four-hour pharmacies can operate after hours using drive-through service.

Golf courses can remain open, but carts are limited to one person.

Hanagriff said he issued the order after consultation with St. Mary mayors. He said the order is in force in municipalities as well as in unincorporated areas.

Hanagriff was joined at the live-streamed press conference by Homeland Security Director David Naquin, Sheriff Blaise Smith and Coroner Eric Melancon.

They fielded questions about a parishwide curfew, but the feeling among the officials was that the problem isn't people being out at night.

Smith said he had gone to big and small stores with a notebook and found only 7-10% compliance with social distancing guidelines.

"I've been in stores where it's like a family reunion," Smith said. "You've got to wait for people to move so you can get by them because everybody's sitting there talking.

"So I think what they're instituting now is going to be a big help, because when a store gets to be a gathering place, then that's a gathering place for the virus to spread."

Smith urged people to limit their trips to the store and to ask a friend's headed for a store to shop for them. Hanagriff asked people who can shop on weekdays to avoid going to stores on weekend, leaving room for people who work through the week.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and other public health agencies have urged people to prevent the spread of COVID-19 by staying home as much as possible, staying out of groups of more than 10, maintaining 6 feet of separation from other people, washing hands frequently, and coughing and sneezing into an elbow. Officials are hoping to slow the spread of the disease enough to avoid a sudden spike in hospitalizations and ventilator use that will overwhelm health care resources.

Smith said deputies have had to break up gatherings in local parks, and civic centers had to be closed when students idled by the suspension of classes began to congregate at the centers.

Naquin, the former sheriff who is now the head of parish homeland security, said he was saddened to learn that two first-responders have died from COVID-19-related illness, and another 60 have tested positive.

"Keep Acadian Ambulance in your prayers," Smith said. "These guys and gals go out there every day and answer every call. They have no choice."

Naquin also expressed frustration with delays in testing.

The Louisiana Office of Public Health reported Saturday that 18 new St. Mary people had tested positive for COVID-19 since noon Friday, bringing the total to 65. Naquin said those new results may be the result of a lag in reporting test results from four or five days ago.

Melancon said Saturday that local hospitals can turn around test results in 24-48 hours. Commercial labs can take up to a week. The Chitimacha tribal government was able to obtain a few rapid tests, but Smith said those were used to test inmates at the parish jail.

"The system's broken," Naquin said. "I'm not going to lie about that."

18 new COVID-19 cases in St. Mary; two die in St. Martin

Saturday's noon report says another 18 St. Mary people have tested positive for COVID-19. That brings the total to 65.

Two more St. Martin people have died of COVID-19-related illness, the Louisiana Office of Public Health reported Saturday. That beings to the total deaths for the parish to five. Sixty-four people have tested positive in St. Martin.

No deaths have have been reported in St. Mary, but Coroner Eric Melancon said at a Saturday press conference that one St. Mary fatality may eventually be classified as COVID-19 related.

Assumption Parish has 33 cases. No deaths have been reported there.

The number of tests performed has grown to 225 in St. Mary, 111 in St. Martin and 82 in Assumption.

Statewide, the numbers told another grim story.

The number of COVID-19-positive people grew by 2,199, or 21%, between Friday and Saturday to 12,496. Thirty-nine more COVID-19-related deaths were reported, bringing the total to 409.

The state's hospitals are treating 1,726 people, 535 of whom are on ventilators.

Bonnet Carre opens; Corps says more water in Atchafalaya would be 'devastating'

As the Army Corps of Engineers announced a partial opening of the Bonnet Carré Spillway on Friday, a Corps officer said new predictions indicate the Atchafalaya River at Morgan City will rise during this flood event to a level that would be nearly a foot over the moderate flood stage and about one-third foot of the March 2019 crest.

The news came as at least one Mississippi official urged the Corps to consider opening the Morganza Floodway as an alternative to the Bonnet Carré, sending even more water into the Atchafalaya system.

Putting more water into the Atchafalaya would result "in even more stress on Morgan City and all the communities surrounding it," said Col. Stephen Murphy of the Corps at Friday's event marking the opening of the Bonnet Carré. "More water in the Atchafalaya would be absolutely devastating."

At 7 p.m. Friday, the Mississippi River at the Carrollton Street gauge in New Orleans was at 16.32 feet and expected to rise to the 17.0-foot flood stage Wednesday and stay there until at least until April 16, according to the National Weather Service

Earlier this week, a sudden rise in the river crest forecast led the Corps to conclude that the river's flow at New Orleans would reach the 1.25 million cubic feet per second trigger for opening the Bonnet Carré. That spillway diverts water from the river into Lake Pontchartrain and down to the Mississippi coast.

At Friday's Bonnet Carré opening, Murphy said the Corps plans to open 10 or 20 of the spillway's 350 bays at a time over a four-week period, probably to a maximum of 95-110 bays. The Corps anticipates a maximum flow of 120,000-130,000 cubic feet per second for about a week. He anticipates that the water directed toward Mississippi would amount to only about 10% of last year's total.

"To the people affected by the opening of the spillway," said Gen. Mark Toy, commander of the Corps' Mississippi Valley Division, "I ask you to understand that we do this to help save lives, to protect people."

But some Mississippi state officials may not be in an understanding mood.

This will mark the third consecutive year the Bonnet Carré has been opened, a first in the spillway's eight-decade history. Last year was the first time the spillway was opened twice in the same year.

Mississippi officials, environmentalists and other stakeholders filed a federal lawsuit in December alleging that the Corps failed to consult with parties in that state before opening the spillway and subjecting Mississippi to flooding, loss of income from saltwater fisheries and ecological damage.

The Biloxi Sun Herald quoted a spokesman for Mississippi Secretary of State Michael Watson as saying this during an online meeting of stakeholders:

“The Mississippi Gulf Sound is still reeling from the 3 openings in the past two years and these impacts still haven’t been adequately measured or considered, yet you’re about to make it even worse by again using the BCS this year.

“While you claim you do not have the authority, have you even requested a change in operating guidelines to help diminish those impacts by at least allowing a partial opening of the Morganza?”

At Friday's spillway opening, Toy said, "When we open the spillway, we do everything we can to help mitigate its impact."

At 8 p.m. Friday, the Atchafalaya River at Morgan City was at 6.89 feet. At 6.0 feet, the river causes minor flooding between the flood walls in Morgan City and Berwick. At 7.0 feet, the flooding is rated as moderate. The National Weather Service forecast says the river will rise to 7.5 feet Wednesday.

The one-foot rise Murphy talked about would take the river to about 7.9 feet.

Last year, one of the worst for flooding in recent years, Hurricane Barry's storm surge pushed the river to 10 feet in July. Otherwise, the 2019 crest came March 15, when the river reached 8.25 feet, according to the National Weather Service.

The 2019 flooding persisted from later winter into the summer, threatening homes in the Stephensville area and covering portions of La. 70 with water in lower St. Martin. Shrimpers said the influx of freshwater hurt their catch, and sediment deposited in the system led to shoaling in important commercial waterways.

To combat the back-flooding along Bayou Chene, the St. Mary Levee District and other agencies sank a barge in the bayou at a cost of millions. A permanent structure is under construction at a cost of $80 million.

By congressional mandate, the Old River flood control structure diverts 30% of the Mississippi River's water into the Atchafalaya system

COVID-19 cases rise again

Governor: "We can't spare doctors"

On the day New York Mayor Bill DeBlasio called for a national draft of retired doctors and medical workers to be rushed to New York City, Louisiana COVID-19 cases broke above 10,000 to 10,297 cases. That's up by 1,147 new cases but that number represents half the increase seen Thursday which set a record 2,726 new cases. Governor John Bel Edwards said in his Friday press conference that's due in large part because Louisiana now ranks second in the nation for testing per capita. But more concerning, he says, is that Louisiana suffered 60 additional deaths in one day, bringing the total to 370 in 3 weeks.
"What we're seeing is looking like what we're going to see as the daily normal going forward," said Governor John Bel Edwards in his Friday press conference, "though the 13 percent increase is more in line than the 42 percent increase we saw Thursday. We are engaged in a marathon, not a sprint. I urge Louisianans to take the stay-at-home mandate seriously. We and we alone will determine just how bad the Coronavirus gets. Your neighbor's life depends on it and, quite frankly, so might your own.
"And I suspect we will continue to have a higher death rate per capita than the rest of the nation because we have underlying problems in a higher proportion of our population, mostly diabetes, obesity, kidney and heart disease."
Edwards expects a surge of COVID-19 patients next week that may overwhelm hospitals and, through the State Board of Medical Examiners, is asking retired physicians and medical staff who still have certifications to consider reentering healthcare. New York Mayor DeBlasio wants the federal government to institute an outright draft of retired doctors, surgeons, and nurses back into service to head off what he terms a juggernaut health crisis in his city. "We need 45,000 more medical personnel," said DeBlasio Friday and wants them pulled from all over the country.
"As much as I love New York," Governor Edwards replied, "I am not interested in having our medical professionals drafted and sent to New York because we know we have real problems here in Louisiana in the not-too-distant future with respect to our capacity to deliver healthcare. That's our problem in the [2,000-bed] standup hospital we're building in the Morial Convention Center in New Orleans. You still have to staff it."
Retired Chief Medical Officer of Baton Rouge's Our Lady of the Lake Medical Center, Dr. Ron Radzikowski, 80-years-old, says drafting retired physicians will be difficult for several reasons. "I'm not afraid of dying and would love to jump in on Coronavirus," he says, "but my certification lapsed years ago and I wouldn't begin to know current procedures, medicines or dosages. Our creed is 'to do no harm' and I'm afraid I might harm someone in the rush of this crisis." Radzikowski practiced medicine from 1975 to 1995 before advancing to the administration of OLOL. He retired in 2008. "I guess I could re-learn but you don't want somebody training-on-the-job on you if you're sick."
Projections from the Louisiana Department of Health expect hospitalizations just in New Orleans will not peak until early May, a time when 2,500 new COVID patients per day will inundate healthcare facilities. The state is already running low on ventilators, "and without ventilators, some patients will die," Edwards said.

UMCOR notice

NOTICE
This notice is provided by UMCOR Sager Brown for individuals that participated in the food distribution on March 25, 2020 at the Baldwin Civic Center. This notice is offered in an abundance of caution and out of care for all whom UMCOR Sager Brown serves. One of the UMCOR Sager Brown employees at the food distribution has tested positive for COVID-19. Based on research and current information, UMCOR Sager Brown believes that the individual loaded some food items into the boxes that were distributed but does not believe that the individual who tested positive unloaded the boxes of food from the truck or delivered them to the recipients’ vehicles. However, consistent with public health advice for everyone, please contact a doctor or medical professional if you have symptoms consistent with COVID-19. More information about symptoms can be found on the CDC’s website (https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/symptoms-testing/symptoms.html).

Patterson City Council meeting canceled

The regular first-Tuesday meeting of the Patterson City Council has been canceled to comply with social distancing guidelines, Mayor Rodney Grogan said Friday.

The city government had been preparing a teleconference set-up for Tuesday's meeting in order to meet the deadline for passing the 2021 city budget. But Grogan said official now believe the city charters gives councilmen enough time to approve the budget if they skip this meeting.

La. education officials defer to locals on graduation rules

The Louisiana Department of Education on Thursday announced local school systems would have broad leeway in deciding whether seniors are ready to graduate.
Schools have been closed since mid-March and will remain so for at least another month because of the COVID-19 pandemic.
Local officials may replace traditional grades with a binary pass/fail option. However, schools “must consult with students and parents” to determine if pass/fail should be used and how this may impact grade point average requirements for the state’s TOPS scholarship program, the department says.
For students who have not demonstrated the knowledge necessary in a course to award credit, schools can provide options that can help students meet credit requirements through distance learning, online coursework, written work packets, project-based learning, portfolios, proficiency exams or work-based learning.
Gov. John Bel Edwards on March 13 ordered public schools closed in hopes of limiting the spread of the new coronavirus that causes COVID-19. He plans to extend his broader “stay at home” order, currently scheduled to expire April 13, through the end of the month.
Since schools generally finish their year in May, in-person classes may not be held at all again this year. Schools may host virtual graduation ceremonies or in-person ceremonies later in the summer, if and when it is considered safe to do so.
Instructional minute and compulsory attendance requirements have been waived because of the disruption, along with end-of-course exams for graduating seniors and promotional requirements for fourth and eighth grades. Public schools and school districts won’t receive performance scores from the state and teachers won’t have their usual evaluations.
The Louisiana Board of Regents, which oversees higher education, plans to ask legislators to allow students to use a June ACT score to qualify for TOPS.
“This special time for seniors across the state has been disrupted by the COVID-19 event, and we are sensitive to the uncertainty this has caused to the students and their families,” acting State Superintendent Beth Scioneaux said. “We want to support and reassure them that the path forward and the ability to follow their dreams remains.”

Coping with coronavirus? Counseling is available

Resources and tips are available for those who may be struggling with coping with COVID-19 and its effects on their lives.
The Louisiana Office of Behavioral Health offers a toll-free hotline (1-866-310-7977) that is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week, for those who need to talk about their COVID-19 concerns.
Travis Darnell, a licensed psychological counselor, stressed that “people are not alone” in their feelings about the COVID-19 pandemic.
He said that there are a number of ways to cope with issues, but the one he suggested is cognitive behavior therapy, which involves an A-B-C approach to handling situations. In it, there is an activating event, there are behaviors and then there are consequences.
“It can be used in a clinical setting, but it works phenomenal as a self-help option,” he said.
By writing out what their problems or concerns are, people can determine whether their feelings are rational or irrational, Darnell said.
“It’s extremely beneficial,” he said.
He said a simple internet search will bring up plenty of information on how the process works and resources.
When talking with children, the National Association of School Psychologists and the National Child Traumatic Stress Network offer tips, which were supplied via an LSU news release.
Advice includes not overreacting or making your child speak about their feelings, which could complicate their handling of the situation and bouncing back from it.
Parents should provide assistance and support or comfort for their children, including limiting their availability to “potentially disturbing media coverage” and not telling them everything about the situation.
Adults also should keep the same routine each day for their children.
“The predictability and structure provided by routines help your child get into a rhythm and feel that things are under control,” according to the LSU news release.
Parents also should anticipate being “more readily available for their children,” too, the release said. They should be honest with their children but should give information to them as it relates to their questions, using only credible sources. Positive reinforcement about how the situation is being handled is key, too.
Adults also should help their children find ways to handle their feelings to this situation positively, such as through talking about the situation.
Parents also must maintain their own health and control their stress levels.
“How adults react to the crisis can have a significant impact on children, especially young children,” the release said.
Parents should look for signs from their children, like those that would occur in an adult who is depressed, such as mood swings and “being avoidant,” Darnell said.
While Darnell said youngsters were OK at first, now that time has passed with them not being able to see their friends or athletes unable to compete, things can get tough.
“Some kids are actually experiencing real-life depression because they’re missing out on some of the most important times of their lives by not having those opportunities, especially our older kids,” Darnell said. “Our (grades) 9-12 kids are struggling with that right now.”
In addition to mental health, Darnell said now is a great time to educate children about how vital personal hygiene is.
As for long-term effects of this pandemic, Darnell said that while it is still in the early stages in terms of mental health, if things continue like they are and people continue to suffer losses, he predicted that the mental health field would see a reaction similar to what happened post-Hurricane Katrina with post-traumatic stress disorder.

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