DEAR ABBY: I have been with my husband for five years, and we have two children together. It’s my husband’s second marriage and my first. He and his first wife, “Gretchen,” had no kids, but they did have a long and messy divorce. She and her family live in the same small town as we do. Her favorite pastime is telling anyone who will listen that my husband physically abused and raped her. I know my husband. In our five years together he has never so much as raised his voice to me or our children. I don’t presume to ...