DEAR ABBY: Occasionally, married friends will come to my husband and/or me venting about their marital problems. We have been through a few rough patches during our 12 years of marriage, and during those times, we sought help from family, friends and counselors. Today I can honestly say we are happier than ever and willing to stick through the ups and downs. We try to pass along the things that helped us, but a lot of times we’ll see one spouse wanting to work on improving the marriage and the other one oblivious or unwilling to do anything about it.